Thursday, February 1, 2007

USS DIXON: Quick Draw Practice Bubblehead Style.


I served as a Hull Maintenance Technician in your U.S.Navy from 1973-1977. It was a good hitch and had I the ability to do things differently, I would have retired from the service.

After boot and "A" school, I served aboard two ships. The first ship was a top-of-the-line submarine tender, U.S.S. Dixon AS-37. The other ship was the not-so-top-of-the-line U.S.S. Mobile LKA-115, an amphibious assault ship. Stories that follow happened during my assignments to these fine ships. Enjoy.



Having had all of the topless dancing and cheap beer I could handle for one night, it was late, so I stumbled back towards the Dixon from Ballast Point's EM club. After making it safely across the Dixon's Quarter Deck, I stumbled as best I could, down the main deck, port side. Before entering our berthing compartment, I stopped to grab a smoke amidships, near the shore power drops. Huge spars fanned out(port and starboard) from the Dixon, to distribute shore power cables that were dropped down to each submarine tied along side. Powerful security lights pointed at the subs were placed at intervals along these spars. These lights attracted many fish to the surface, which in turn attracted the Brown Pelicans for a late night, feeding frenzy. The pelicans would glide along the water’s surface, dive and come up gulping down a fresh fish. Then they’d take off, circle around and do it all over again. With three or four Brown Pelicans in the area, it was quite a sight.

Then I noticed two non-rated topside watches, stationed down below on each of these two black subs tied along Dixon's side. These sailors were bored with their watches and took it upon themselves to sharpen their pistolero  skills. They’d point their pistols at the pelicans and you’d hear their hammers snap down on an empty chamber. Then they’d face each other like it was high noon in Abilene, draw their .45s to see who was the quickest, and snap the hammers at each other. Lt was so stupid.  Then they’d twirl these 1911s Hollywood style, like they were Roy Rogers or Dale Evans, stuff it back in the holster and start all over again. Pretty neat, Huh!? At least they were laughing and having a good time. The pelicans were far more interesting.

And without a doubt, the pelicans were a heck of a lot smarter than those two bubbleheads ever were. As I was watching the birds, I heard this metallic clunk and looked down below just in time to see Dale’s pistol sliding along the sub’s well rounded hull then, Ker-plunk, down into the briny depths of the San Diego harbor it went. Dale Evans started cussing and jumping up and down. Roy put his pistol back in his holster and secured its flap.

I laughed all the way down main deck, as I traveled down to my rack.

dz

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